Being Home - Going Home

My time here in Brooke Valley is coming to an end.  I am going back to Dominica on July 21. Yes, Canada, Ontario, Perth, Brooke Valley, this old house  is lovely, clean, fast, efficient, pretty, friendly, familiar...all  good.  The variety and abundance is truly awesome. But it is not 'home'.

This stay here has been a miasma of resurrected, long put away memories as I have talked to people and packed up, thrown out and given away much of my stuff.  I have also spent a good deal of time sorting out and organizing .  When Nick and Samantha moved back here to Brooke (from the West), they brought their complete apartments with them, so there were (are) 2 complete apartments being stored in the space downstairs.  Plus Nick did a wonderful job of decluttering this household and its collection of 50 years of accumulated detritus.  I have gone through it all.

I took a friend's advice as I was doing this: handle each piece and make a decision about it and acknowledge the pleasure it gave.  Don't just toss it in a bin.  It is all important. Often it was heart tearing and difficult, but I am glad I took her advice.  Thank you Jennifer.  It took me a full year to clean out my mother's house and much of it ended up in a country auction and the land fill.  I do not want this.

I have not been able to move Hans to do the same, so his filing cabinets and book shelves remain dusty and crumbling monuments to the past and will be a burden on those who come after him. I understand his reluctance though.

I have not   been able to deal well with Rachel's various collections, photos, writings, drawings, cards, notes, diaries, stuffed toys,  a few clothes but I have strongly suggested to Anthony, Nick, Samantha , and Hans to have a ritual, cleansing  fire and send them on their way. They agreed.   It's been 23 years since she died, that would make her 39 today, and as Anthony said, she would not be happy to know that we (I) was hanging on to her through her material belongings. 

I have spent happy hours with a few good friends here in BV; Sarah, Anne, Jennifer, Barbara and Judy in Montreal, .  While I was in Montreal I renewed a dormant friendship with Barry.  I hope this relationship is now up and functioning again. 

I went with Peter and Karen to visit Harold and Jan. Not only was this a pleasant road trip but it was also a trip down memory lane.   It was good to be with them.

I see that Anthony, Nick and Samantha are doing the best they can and are making their way.  Hans is as healthy as he can be at this stage and continues to be wholly engaged in his projects, thinking, reading and writing.

I came back early May to do whatever I could for my family.  My intention was to stay for the BV reunion in August.  That's 4 months.  Can't do it and the family is OK.  I was making myself sick and everyone around me unhappy.  So...off I go.  I'll be back next year for my annual visit.  This being a family there are, of course, things pending.  Stay tuned!

Post Script:  When I googled what to do with unwanted CD's & DVD's google answered, "cut them up and make a disco ball". I'm sill laughing

My garden is gorgeous, Nick has revitalized it and I did a lot of work.  He has good landscaping plans for it.  It is now his to do what he wants, keeping the special peony, iris and daylilies