I have been here in Brooke Valley for almost 8 weeks. I have one more week. It did take all this time to do what had to be done after Hans's death. I am satisfied that the proverbial ducks are in a row, however rickety that row may be, and I renewed friendships with the few that matter to me. The house is in good enough shape and in good hands. Anthony, Nick, and Samantha are making their way.
I won’t go
into the nightmare of sorting, packing, and deciding what to give away and what
to throw away. So many things I have collected and loved over the years; some
from my mother’s house that I have grown up with, some from her mother’s house, and some my children have grown up with. I
know them all, each piece, miniature, book, picture, dish, nick-knack. I have had enough nostalgia to last the rest
of my life.
I have dealt with all Hans's things: humped around thousands of books, filing cabinets full of his notes and papers.
I have made my Will. Not an easy thing. Hard decisions. Much thought. I hope that the beneficiaries find it reasonable.
I have learned a lot, and much that I only had a hunch about has been confirmed; trust in the process, one is on one’s own in the end, don’t panic (as McDowell says), keep moving, you only know you are doing the right thing and making the right choices if it feels right. Honour the past, but keep in mind that it is the past and you dwell in the present and somewhat in the future. Don’t spin your wheels. Know what you are grateful for and nourish it, abandon the rest
NOTES
- It has been an unusually cold summer.
- I will run out of BP meds this weekend.
- Great food. Ontario peaches, sweet corn, cherries, blueberries, cheese, bread. maple syrup.
- What they say about Canadians is all true: polite, clean, honest, friendly, quiet, and good drivers (no road rage, no honking).
- I will miss the washing machine, the quiet, the cleanliness, and the friendly nods and chats with strangers.
- I got used to this house and the routine. I will miss Savvy, the little fluffy white doggie who followed me around and was glad to see me whenever I came home and slept beside my bed every night.
- I will miss Anthony, Nick, and Samantha.
- I am glad I was here for Peter's annual family gathering and saw all the nieces and nephews.
- I am leaving Ottawa at 6 a.m. Thursday, September 7 and I am not looking forward to the trip, although the end will be worth it. 💖🌴🏖
wi
