Wednesday, September 1, 2010

I'm Going Back To Dominica

So it is September 1 and I have my ticket to return to Dominica on the 25th,

Yes, I know…I know…

And furthermore, the issues that sent me back north have not been resolved and probably never can be. My intention is to go, not come back at Christmas, return in June for the summer here.

What has become clear is that I am ‘finished’ with Brooke Valley. There is nothing here for me. My house and garden of 40 years are close to being a burden, not a pleasure. I cannot conjure up a future for myself here. Although I certainly have friends here, and there are activities I enjoy, and my family is here, somehow I can’t project an image of myself LIVING here – doing what? There is no CHALLENGE.

As challenging as it might be, I have no interest or desire to jump on Hans’ band wagon. Yes, of course, I could do volunteer work here – whatever I am doing there, I could do here. Doing volunteer work is not my reason for going anywhere.

I love it here. The cool nights, the pretty landscape, the ease, the convenience, the cleanliness, the food, the level of social awareness and activity, the friends and family…you name it, it is all good. But there is something HUGE missing!

What is it?

Can it be an intimacy I never felt I had? Can it be that life in Dominica is ‘in your face’, not at arms length, sanitized, as it feels here?

I do not know.

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